Just write a list.
Marriage can be incredibly fun.
Here are 5 tips in Part 1 of my article on How To Win At Marriage:
Have a sense of humor…together. Life is much easier if you can laugh at yourself right? Think of how much more fun it will be if you can laugh at each other? Don’t be cruel, but make an agreement to laugh or find the ridiculousness in the way each of you can be. If you can laugh at the little things and not pout or get offended, the giggles will bring you together and help you build memories in your everyday life that will make you laugh well into your future.
Kiss each other every day even if your spouse isn’t awake. Kissing is important in marriage. I’m not talking gross lip smacking that makes people gag. I’m talking about sweet kisses on the cheek, or the forehead, or other G rated places. These quick moments of connection can build up over time and bring a lot of security on both sides. I love when I feel my husband kiss my forehead before leaving for work even though I may still be in a drool worthy sleep state. He likes it when I do the same on my early mornings.
When your spouse wants to do something for you, let them. Effort is more precious than perfection. Don’t yell at him when he doesn’t put your underwear in the right drawer. Give her a break when she forgets to add potato chips to your lunch. Be thankful they tried. Gratefulness is a great foundation for growth and maturity in knowing how to love each other better in the basics. If you can share and teach each other lovingly you will want to kiss him when he puts just the right amount of jelly on your toast. Feeling known in the little things is a big deal.
Enjoy each other in and out of bed. I said bed, how naughty. Come on! We all know married people do things. But, do you know that how much you enjoy each other outside the bedroom has a direct impact on how much you enjoy each other in the bedroom? Intimacy is not just a physical act. Closeness, trust, and the freedom to enjoy one another doesn’t just happen. Do the work in the little things and you’ll have way more fun in the private moments.
Encourage and allow the other time for their dreams. This could be something big or something smaller. Maybe he wants to go to medical school or become a law enforcement officer. Maybe he wants to build a clock or get an old car running. Maybe she wants to be a writer or start a small business. Don’t downplay the dream. The dream is the tip of the iceberg of a belief and a desire down deep below. Who they become while they attempt the dream should be way more important to you. Let them spend time accomplishing a goal and feeling like you are their biggest supporter, and it will only build strength into your marriage.
Stay tuned for Part 2…coming soon. Try these tips and let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear your stories in the comments!